Supporting Your Littles
Children look to adults for guidance on how to respond during stressful events. Kids are highly sensitive to the emotional states of their parents, so if parents are experiencing worry or fear, it’s likely that kids will be more anxious too. A parent’s job during a stressful time is to be ‘Bigger, Stronger, Wiser’, showing their children through actions and words that it is not the job of the child to worry and that the parent continues to be in charge and capable of providing safety and reassurance. Here are some specific guidelines:
Provide honest, age-appropriate information in simple language. Answer any questions they have with fact-based information; look it up on a reputable website if you need to. If your child is asking questions about something, it means they’re already speculating about it and nothing will be gained by avoiding answering the question. In fact, in the absence of good information, kids are likely to fill in the blanks with worrisome ideas or playground gossip (not unlike adults!).
Remind them that people in charge including yourself, health and school officials, and hospital staff are all doing your jobs to keep everyone healthy and safe.
Teach positive preventive measures like good hand-washing and ‘cover your cough’ to show them what actions they can take.
Talk to them about their fears calmly and patiently. Remember that they are watching your verbal and non-verbal behaviours and that what you say and do can either increase or decrease their anxiety.
Provide lots of warmth and connection. Tell them you love them, that your family is safe and healthy (if true) and try to spend time being playful or doing something that makes them feel close to you.
Regulate their access to news and social media. Make sure to point out that everything they see and hear isn’t necessarily accurate and that if they aren’t sure, they should double check with you.
Finally, taking care of your mental health is more important than ever during times of uncertainty. Voth Family Therapy is continuing to provide care and support to existing and new clients while we all figure out this COVID-19 thing. We happily offer online and phone counselling to stay in touch. For more tips on staying mentally well, follow us on Facebook and Instagram!
BLOG AUTHOR
JODIE VOTH
JODIE IS A FULL-TIME THERAPIST AND OWNER OF VOTH FAMILY THERAPY.