Getting the Most Out of Therapy
A few months ago, when I was teaching a course about couple therapy to a group of university students, I was reminded of how much I always appreciated course outlines when I was a student myself. The course outline or syllabus covers information on how to contact the instructor, the required reading, assignments and due dates, university policies and withdrawal deadlines applicable to the course, and an overview of what will be covered in the class. At the end of every term I’d have a stack of well-worn course outlines full of highlighter marks and little notes-to-self; these pages had served as important guides that served as a map and a measuring stick, and helped to keep me on track. I relied heavily on them and consulted them often.
Therapy is a considerable investment of both time and money. As therapists, we want to help you to get the most value for what you’ve put in, or return on investment. Therapy can be a bit like taking a class in that most come with the intention to learn something, usually about themselves and the relationships they’re engaged in. However, therapy is a process and much more abstract than most classes. (Yay – no exams here!) But like any educational course, it is tough to get the most out of therapy if you don’t have an outline of the expectations. Here is a “therapy outline” – some suggestions that can help you to enjoy the greatest benefit from the time and money you’ve chosen to invest in yourself through therapy.
Be willing to take small risks and try new things. Your therapist will challenge you to think about yourself, your relationships, and others in your life in ways that might be new. Over the course of your work together, your therapist may offer suggestions for lifestyle adjustments, books to read, activities to do at home – try them. I always say, nothing is a failure. Even if it doesn’t give you the results you hope for, this information will help us to determine the next step forward.
Understand the law of 80/20. Eighty percent of my value to you as your therapist will be outside the therapy room. Clients who get a lot out of therapy typically return after the week or two between sessions and report having done a great deal of “mental chewing” on what we discussed in our last session, and consequently notice shifts happening within themselves and their relationships. Often they have already begun to be curious about what they’re noticing, so they will have a general idea of what they’d like to talk through with me during our time. This results in an effective session that generates more material for the between-session processing, which altogether keeps progress moving steadily forward.
Give feedback. Compelling research has shown us that a client’s success in therapy increases substantially when their therapist gets feedback at the end of every session regarding how the client felt about how they used the time and the process of therapy in general. Some therapists prefer to use formal tools like a short survey at the end of each meeting, while others prefer a brief, informal conversation with their client. Whatever your therapist’s method, giving feedback as often and honestly as possible will ensure that you are working effectively as a team.
These suggestions are only a starting point. Like course instructors, every therapist is different. It is so important that as a client you feel that your therapist is a great match for you. Talk to your therapist early on about their approach and the kind of clients they work best with. By working closely together, we can help you to enjoy a substantial return on investment.
BLOG AUTHOR
JODIE VOTH
JODIE IS A FULL-TIME THERAPIST AND OWNER OF VOTH FAMILY THERAPY.